Hospitals

I've been in hospitals this week much more than I ever imagined possible for a person who hadn't been admitted to one. In fact, its mainly just been the last two days. Friday one of my members had surgery in Madison to remove two aneurisms. God was good, and he is recovering. It sounds like the doctors were able to take care of both aneurisms in one shot. Jamie and I left Baraboo at 5:00 AM to get there and stayed until 1:00 PM. Not too long. Except I was dead tired and felt like I was worthless to the family.

Then Friday night I got a phone call telling me to come to Baraboo's St. Clare Hospital. One of my members was back in the ICU. This was her second trip there in a week, and her fourth in two months. She's 88 and has a failing heart and lung damage. She's been fighting this for so long and it's been hard to see her in pain all the time. Her family has been at her side through all of it. They keep saying they hate to see their mom suffer like this.

Friday night was especially hard because the doctors informed us that they will not perform CPR or do anything to resuscitate her if she slips again. They feel that it will not improve her quality of life, and will actually only prolong her suffering. So her sons and daughter grudgingly agreed to sign a "do not resuscitate" paper.

I wish I had more experience, more wisdom to offer. Yes, "just being there" is what matters. But at times like Friday night, I again felt worthless to the family. My greatest fear is about the time she passes away. It could happen on Christmas. It could happen on Christmas Eve. No matter what, it seems like this could be a situation which prevents us from seeing family this Christmas. I don't want to be selfish. And yet I am.

My prayer is that whatever happens we will get to travel home and stay at home without a funeral in the middle.

I would ask that whoever reads this in the coming days pray for God's will to be done in this situation...not mine. Pray for me as I go through my first funeral. Pray for the family as they will soon be grieving the loss of their mother. Thank you.